My wife and I spent four nights at the Bristol in January, having selected it on the basis of the outstanding reviews on TripAdvisor. More surprising, than our sense of crushing disappointment with our stay, was that fact that the aspects of the hotel that we found most deficient were some of the very same services upon which other reviewers have heaped such praise. Were we just unlucky? I’m afraid I’m unconvinced.

High level summary:

- The hotel is well located
- The rooms are old-fashioned, but in a charmless kind of way
- Bathrooms lack any of the luxurious touches that would normally merit the description “boutique hotel”
- Hygiene standards in the bar and its associated food are shockingly poor
- The reception area is frequently devoid of staff
- The attitude, of such staff that can be found, is highly variable

The detail:

Starting with the one aspect on which even I can agree with most reviewers, the hotel is well located. When you finally conclude that you would prefer to stay somewhere else, you’ll most likely find that the alternative is within easy walking distance. The bottom line, however, is that the Bristol is consistently unexceptional in almost every respect.

I recognise that there’s no scientific definition of a boutique hotel, but I have to question the use of this term in relation to the Bristol. Yes, it’s small, but that’s because it’s essentially half a building. When you arrive, you find yourself wondering where the rest of it has gone. If I rented out half my garage I would not expect it to earn the label “boutique” but maybe it’s different for hotels. It isn’t cute, if that’s what the term is supposed to mean.

The first warning sign came at check-in. I had noted that the hotel’s home page proudly advertises the “Delta Airlines Bristol Miles Plan.” Upon handing over my Delta card as I signed the registration forms, I received a blank look. “We do not participate in any airline miles programme here,” I was informed. “But you advertise this programme on your own home page!” I exclaimed. “No, I’m afraid you are mistaken sir.” Upon tackling the issue again the following day, there was a begrudging admission that they did in fact offer Delta Miles, but only to those who had made their reservations over the Leading Hotels of the World website. “But I did,” I replied. “Oh, but you didn’t pay the rack rate, so you’re still ineligible.” Are they kidding? Better rename that the “Bristol Miles for the One-in-a-Million Idiot that Actually Pays Rack Rate at a 5-star Hotel Programme,” methinks.

Moving up to the room, which I thought was of adequate size, unoffensive, but at the same time tediously old-fashioned in design, I quickly found myself looking for the “luxurious personal amenities” advertised by the hotel’s website as featuring in the bathroom of my Deluxe Room. Having failed, I was obliged to conclude that the Bristol must be the only boutique hotel in the world that would dare to describe soap as a luxurious personal amenity. And it’s not even expensive soap, for heaven’s sake!

Having popped back down to reception, which we found to be empty (a common feature during our stay – it was empty more times than it was populated), we decided to move on to the bar. Ignoring the very obvious warning sign, served by the fact that the bar surface was absolutely filthy, we ordered a toasted sandwich for my wife. As she tucked into it, she saw me recoiling with horror. The cross-section of the bread, I noted, was pockmarked with multiple, large green splodges, which of course turned out to be mould. Now here I have to offer the hotel some credit – the bar manager did seem genuinely remorseful when he inspected the said sandwich (indeed he also appeared to be horrified, which I suppose is reassuring) and did not charge us either for its replacement (fortunately not green) or any of the drinks that we consumed to help get over the revulsion. But how on earth could that happen in a hotel that so many other reviewers rate for its restaurant?

Finally came check-out. In recognition of the rarity of the reception staff, I decided to avoid any potential wait at our departure time by trying to settle my account a couple of hours before we were due to leave. “It would really be more convenient if you pay when you leave, sir.” “Convenient for whom?” I enquired. “Well, it will save us from having to bill you again for any calls that you make between now and then, or any items that you consume from the minibar.” “But I’m not going to do either of those things and, if for any reason you decide that I have done, I’ll make a further payment at check-out.” “No, really it would be better for us if you pay when you leave.” No matter how hard I tried I really could not convince this guy to allow me to make an interim bill settlement, because he simply could not be bothered to suffer the inconvenience. This, from a hotel which is so broadly praised for its service.

One further insult awaited us. At check-out we had handed over a package, to be collected later by the wife of a friend that works in Panama. Labelled with both the name of the intended recipient and with my own name, there seemed little scope of error. Not so - when she came to collect it, the hotel denied ever having been given the item. A subsequent appeal directly to the manager led to the item miraculously re-appearing, but only after my friend had already bought a replacement.

At the end of the day it’s possible that my wife and were transported into a parallel universe upon our arrival in Panama and did not stay at the Bristol at all. However, my credit card statement seems to suggest otherwise – a statement which also confirms that I paid significantly more than my work colleagues who opted for the Marriott down the road, which by the way they rated highly.

As the title indicates, I remain baffled by my fellow travellers’ reviews.

Our stay was arranged through a travel agency as part of a retirement tour.

What an awesome, pleasant experience. Since business/banking instead of tourism was Panama's "calling" in 2005 ~ When we arrived my husband was given presentation cards (business cards) . These cards indicated our address at the Bristol Hotel, our room's telephone AND fax number.

The room was beautiful. There was fresh fruit in the room and yes, we did have butler service but did not find the need to use the service. Our trip came with complimentary breakfast buffet, which was lovely.

We did not eat in the restaurant because of our schedule, but we did manage to have a nightcap in the hotel bar each evening while we discussed our day. This bar was elegant and beautiful.

On our way out of Panama City we again stayed at the Bristol. The positive experience continued. Once again my husband was presented business cards as well. In our room was a personally penned thank you relating to our return.

We cannot say enough positive things about this hotel. They made us feel like royalty.

Would we recommend this hotel ~ Absolutely !!!

This is an outstanding small hotel. The rooms are great. The bar and the restaurant are as good as it gets. Well worth the money. We spent New Year's Eve there; and it was, equally, great. I wouldn't stay anywhere else in Panama City.

We got a good rate for our stay because it was booked through another hotel where we stayed in Boquete. It might be worth it to arrange a stay at another hotel if you're going to another place in Panama and see if they can get you a deal at the Bristol. You might save half the price.

Our room was very comfortable and spacious, and had all the nice touches (fruits, chocolates, robes, etc.)

The restaurant is outstanding. The breakfasts were the best included-in-room-rate breakfasts I've had anywhere in the world; your choice of menu or buffet. The dinners were also exquisite.

The wait staff in the restaurant were professional, prompt, and friendly. The rest of the staffing I found a bit spotty. There's always a group of young men down in the lobby to take your bag, hail a taxi, etc. But the reception desk wait can be LONG. I came and left twice in the same trip, and on each arrival and checkout experienced the same long wait for someone to appear from a back room to assist me. There's no concierge help in the lobby; you have to call from your room. And then it seems to take them a very long time to answer a question (such as whether they can help make a reservation at a given restaurant). And the concierge staff doesn't seem to be very well informed. We wanted info on where we could find some live music. We ultimately learned on our own that there was some good live music right downstairs in the bar. One quibble: I found out with my final bill that the calls to a local cell phone were pricey (about $1 per minute). But I didn't begrudge this, as I got a good rate on the room. The exercise room was reasonably well equipped, and had a few TVs that could be set on different channels.

All in all, the Bristol is great if you can get a discount ("executive") rate.