I stayed here for Four Nights and Five Days in March, 2007. My family of six stayed in a luxury villa, the Presidential suite, and a standard room with a single king size bed (two people per room).
The foood was the biggest problem. The food was absolutely nightmarishly bad. I have never tasted such bad food in my life, much less for the outrageous prices they charged. And it's really difficult to drive about 25 minutes into town just to go to dinner or lunch every day. The breakfast is mildly okay, but even that is lacking (how can you mess up breakfast?!?!).
The entire family agreed: this was some of the worst food we'd ever eatten. Even if the food had been $5 instead of $35 for dinner, it was still awful. I would rather eat traditional beans, rice and chicken in town for $3 than eat the crap they served at their supposedly gourmet restaurant.
The poor staff is over-worked and under-paid. The service is atrocious at the restaurant and everywhere else. I can't really blame the staff. Since I speak excellent Spanish, i talked to the staff a lot. They work 11 hour days seven days a week. Every few weeks, they get ONE day off. It's disgusting how this resort treats their staff. Totally repulsive.
Most of the staff does not speak English which is a HUGE problem. Ordering beer from room service or getting Pringles for the mini bar turned into ten-minute long tasks because no one understood English.
Now, I speak very good Spanish. However, the rest of my family did not. Therefore, i was responsible for dealing with the staff in all capacities for ALL needs. This got to be exhausting. So much for a vacation!
I also stayed in the standard room with my girlfriend. The jet tub did not work. The design of the bathroom was catastrophically bad (resulting in a totally wet bathroom after a shower due to a lack of a shower curtain. The shower head was only a little trickle.
They were good at frequently cleaning the room (turn down service was good at that in addition to the usual once-daily cleaning service).
Do not go horseback riding through the hotel. The horses are tiny, under-fed, and cranky (because they're basically starving).
In conclusion, I would have rather stayed ANYWHERE but here. It's so isolated from the rest of the island, too, that it makes it a real effort to get away. The pool is small, the service is awful, the food is horrific.
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